My Plan for Economic Recovery

On my way home from work the other day, I heard on the news that the majordomos of the financial world are predicting another huge dip in the already downward spiral of our countries economy. This time it isn’t due to those greedy credit card companies, dishonest bankers or even Obama who, according to a number of my acquaintances, is responsible for everything bad, from  world hunger to my favorite summer TV show being cancelled. 

No, this time the fault is ours, yours and mine. According to this news report consumer confidence is down, and shoppers are keeping their purses closed and their wallets firmly entrenched in their back pockets. In other words, if we want to pull our country out of this economic depression/recession/slump/really really bad time.. the answer is simple. We need to all get out, and spend more money. It’s American.

I love this idea. It’s like saying the only way to lose weight is to eat your little heart out. What a concept. Now I’m not an economist, CPA or MBA. In fact, my main claim to fame in the financial business world is that I know where the news radio channel is so I can listen to it on my way home from work. But I figure, if some guy says it over the air waves then it must be true.  

Which is what brought my husband and me together in our last discussion/fight. 

“It’s simple mathematics,” he said. “If we have only so much money coming in and you spend so much plus two hundred dollars, we’ll be in the hole.”

“That’s easily solved,” I counter. I have been listening to that news radio station faithfully for weeks now. “We just raise our debt ceiling, and it will all work out.”

How could he respond? To deny the truth of my statement would be… well un-American.

Which is when I made my astounding proposition. Everyone should go out and spend money, now. Have a good time, and let the big bucks flow. A country wide shopping-palooza, if you will. Max out our credit cards, then raise our debt ceiling, and go out and do it some more. If we all hand over our hard earned cash, and sign our names to our checks with all the consumer confidence we can muster, the big shot on the radio promised that our countries economy would be back on the rise once again. It’s the patriotic thing to do.

I can’t imagine why Obama hasn’t already suggested this.

My husband is curled up in the fetal position, his head in his hands. I think he’s overwhelmed by the audacity of my plan. And it will work too, if only I can figure out where all our disposable income has been hiding for the last few months....