Monday, July 26, 2010

eBooks - What a Concept

I don’t know how many of you know this, but I recently decided to publish my second novel, Sleight of Hand, as an eBook. I haven’t had much luck getting an agent for this project, and since it didn’t cost me anything to list, I figured it couldn’t hurt to have it online.

I didn’t know much about eBooks when I started so it’s been an interesting adventure.

The eBook world carries books from all sorts of genre’s, written in a wide range of skill levels and sporting its own spelling system… hence the term eBook not ebook or Ebook or even ebOOk. And unlike traditional publishing where you have to convince some agent or editor that your book is worth their time, in the eBook world all you have to do is cut and paste.

I’ve been spending time over the last few days perusing the books available on Smashwords, one of the sites that carries my book. The books available are an interesting combination of the inane and the ridiculous with a few gems thrown in every now and then.

I’ve discovered a huge market for books about women getting into bondage type relationships and then becoming confused about who they are… really? Go figure? And Tolkien would be shocked to learn the extensive array of soft porn that passes for Fantasy… or maybe he wouldn’t.

While browsing through the summaries of some of the newest releases the other day, I came across a few that tickled my funny bone and I thought I’d share them on today’s blog.

  • One writer describes her newest novel as:

    an action adventure that is rich in vocabulary and real-world adventure.

    Rich in vocabulary - which no doubt means there are a lot of different words in her book, an absolute requirement for any good story.

  • Another nonfiction writer wants to make sure we know how comprehensively his volume covers the subject.

    A teleological view of the human condition is considered from a bio psycho social techno spiritual perspective. Cultural foundations, scientific advancements and practical apps will be explored as concepts from modern physics,energy medicine,theology,philosophy, psychology,nutrition,the arts,the humanities,and conventional medicine are integrated in meaningful,goal oriented ways.

    What more is there to say?

  • A fantasy novel touted as “A Gender Switch Adventure,” starts off with the ambiguous line,

    Her people conquered, Coruna turned to piracy.

    Did Coruna actually conquer her own people and then head off to sea, or in a state of depression after her people where conquered by someone else, did she run off to join the pirates… and then switch genders? I guess you’d have to read the book.

  • The following are a couple of first lines which quite frankly don’t need any commentary what so ever.

    In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth... ...and then he died?

    Coralynn Levine does not like people. In fact, she would rather spend her life doing what she does best, killing them.

    And of course the ever frustrating scenario

    Alena was just like the rest of the crowd until she realizes that deadly creatures from folklore are real and that she is a key player to their existence.

  • Sometimes the authors try to sum up the whole plot in two or three sentences with surprising results.

    Reincarnation ideas spark a child’s coming of age quest for truth about his beloved uncle’s puzzling death, unearthing family secrets that lead to severe consequences…    hu?

    Freddie is robbing the place, Victor has come to kill him, Steve is caught in the middle and Holly is looking for a quiet evening at home.

  • One can only assume that the popular book The Promise was this writer’s inspiration,

    The essence of our existence on this planet is survival. It is therefore a breath of fresh air to discover a method of success that requires only applying specific principles and strategies to one’s life—the principles and strategies of Universal Sense.

    Using universal sense to solve problems… now that is a concept I could get behind.

  • And lastly an author who is probably just as lovely, sweet and verbose as her book…

    Let strength give you wings to fly and if you believe, you can touch the sky. "I Believe I Can Fly," is filled with true inspiration that will help guide you through the journey of life's magic ride. May you be intrigued and enlightened for years to come as you soar above the clouds and follow your hopes and dreams!

FYI - You can follow the link above to download Sleight of Hand onto your computer or digital reader for $3.99 at both Smashwords or

Also, I've started a new blog the follows my experiences listing and trying to market my eBook at


kbrebes said...

Good Work! Great post giving us laughs and much to consider in writing our own taglines!

Cheri said...

these are hilarious! and I didn't even know eBooks existed. good for you! go for it!

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